Bad Action Movie Ideas: Part 2

"Oooh, look at me, I'm debatably the greatest film of all tiiiime!" I don't think so. Why not? NEEDS MORE ACTION!

Part 2: Citizen Kane
Greatest film of all time? Only after I'm done with it.

 

Bad Action Movie Ideas: Part 1

You know what's good? Action movies. You know what's bad? Movies that shouldn't have action. Well that's too damn bad. I'm putting action into whatever movie I want.

Part 1: Schindler's List

Outstanding drama about the holocaust. Needs more action.

I tried to shoop a gun into his hand to no avail (read: laziness)

A Shitty Debate

I'm gonna let you guys in on something big. A surprising amount of people have never thought of this. It's something that may just rock your world upside-down! Told you the bowl you packed was too big, dude.

Ready for this?

Some people wipe their ass standing up.

And some people wipe their ass sitting down.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNN

And Now For Something (Possibly) Completely Different

Hold the hell on everybody, because there's about to be some MAD READER INTERACTIVITY HERE!

Well, no, not really, I just wanted opinions from you fine folks that actually read my ramblings. I'm thinking of switching around a few things with my blog. It'd be selfish for me to change things to my own preference if you readers enjoy something else. Plus I have terrible ideas and need sane people to judge it.

So, here are the issues I'm thinking of changing:

East Man Variety Hour Sex Scandal/Divorce/Secret Child/Miscarriage/Illegal Drugs!!!

If I had the power to remove one concept from the world, it would be tabloids. (World hunger? Pfft, figure that out yourselves) If there was ever a waste of paper and even just mental energy, I think this is it. People like celebrities, and like to gossip about them. Fine. But the tabloids. Oh lord, the tabloids.

I was bored at work today, and decided to look at one of those magazines, because hey, pretty colors. I open up a page called "Just Like Us!" What, the celebrities? No shit, they're humans too. It got worse. "They shop for groceries!" Holy fuck, they eat food too? I never knew. "They take their kids to the park!" Yeah, some of them are actually good parents. Some. Teen Moms sucked as parents the second they didn't use a condom. "They go to the movies!" WOAH!

I'VE GONE TO THAT PARK TOO!! EEEEEE JULIE IS GONNA FLIP OUT!!!

Furry Fetish? Frighteningly Fowl.

This has been messing with me for a while, but I'm not entirely sure if I want to find the answer. Furries. I don't even have to give a brief description, everyone who's ever used an internet before knows. If you haven't, please return to your Amish village, I think you are very lost.

What I'm trying to understand is why. Just... why. At what point in these people's lives do they make the preference switch to anthropomorphic animals?